The thieves left no trace

Ewa in the grocery.
Her first task every morning

What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?

EWA:  Every morning when I wake up I discover to my horror that the refrigerator is empty! I can not understand how the thieves get into my apartment, they leave no trace, just an empty refrigerator.

So the first I have to do every morning is to go down in the grocery store and buy food. Fill my fridge ...

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It's not about dog training it must be a dog owner's training

Dog training is about training the owner

How do you train your pet?

JEAN:  Me and my husband just got ourself a puppie. The problem with the puppy is that it does not understand what we say. The puppy is eager to fulfill our desires but it can not understand what they are.
Whatever I say it just sits there looking like a questionmark.

I think we have to put our little darling in a dog training school.

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A revamped Superman is going to save the world

Maybe Superwoman is a good choice

If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

JILL: That’s a question! I’m not fond of superheroes. I think they dress ridiculously. Silly tights and face masks that would not even be good for masquerades. And then that Spiderman, a hybrid of man and spider. Spiders are dreadful animals that should be eradicated from the earth.

 Well, maybe Superman would do. He has no face mask but a cape and boots that I could redesign. I like capes. Yes, I would be a revamped Superman.

The more I think of it, the more I like the idea of being Superman. With all those powers I could change the world! I will get rid of all dictators! I will take care of the Global Warming! I will make the poor rich! I will....!!!

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That man is grumpy as a bulldog

George is bully

If you had to be a breed of dog, what type of dog would you be?

GEORGE: My wife always says to me that I am grumpy like a bulldog and my staff say that I am bully.

And when I look in the mirror I see a bulldog.

The answer is simple. You have to adapt to reality. I AM a bulldog (even if I feel more like a bull).

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Every time I called him Elvis, he peed

Karen and Elton

What would be the name of your next pet? 

 KAREN:  It is unfair to the animals just to give them a name. We must respect the animals and check their reactions to different names.

Once I had a cat that in my eyes was an Elvis. But every time I called him Elvis he peed. I renamed him to Elton and each time I said Elton he purred.

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There should be a law protecting you from elder sisters

They say I look just like my elder sister
and that gives me nightmares!

 
Hi!

I am Christine and I'm 11 years and 4 months old. That indeed makes me responsible for my own actions but despite this I am going to publish this letter.

I love my parents but that shouldn't mean that I have to love my elder sister. I hate my sister! She is just too much. And people say I look just like her! That is unfair an gives me nightmares.

I hereby declines all relationships to my sister and urge all people in position of power to make a law that forbids the existens of elder sisters!

Hoping for a better future,
Yours Christine

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The biker version of The Emperor's New Clothes

The biker version of The Emperor's New Clothes

What is your worst nightmare?

MIKE:  As a kid I heard the story about the emperor who ordered new clothes and was scammed with no clothes at all. Stupid people cannot see your new beautiful clothes, said the scammers.

No one wants to acknowledge themselves as stupid so when the naked emperor passed, everybody said: Wow, look how beautiful clothes the emperor is wearing!

But he was naked!

And that is my every night nightmare since I was 7 and heard that story for the first time. I see myself walking around in the nude as the stupid emperor did.

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